*Disclaimer: This isn’t meant to shame anyone mentally ill. This is just something that bothers me across fandoms, and has bothered me since I was a child.*

This is Raymond, a villager from Animal Crossing: New Horizons. He’s a “smug” villager, meaning he is gentlemanly but a little arrogant. His home and outfit bring to mind an office, and his quote to live by is “Stay on brand!” Of the nearly 400 villagers available in the game, only 38 are “smug,” and only one of them is a cat. So, when he was introduced, Raymond was quite the catch.

People were fucking obsessed with him. Not in the typical “Oh, he’s my favorite” sense. In the “I’m going to harass this person on Twitter until they give him to me” sense. People were shelling out thousands in in-game currency (and sometimes actual currency) just to go to someone else’s town and look at him. People were getting scammed out of currency, items, and other villagers because other players did “backsies” on giving them their precious business-cat. It got so bad that Nintendo themselves had to step in and tell folks to calm the hell down.

I know the pandemic fucked everyone up, and folks were going a little crazy from lack of social interaction. But, people were acting like Raymond was their flesh and blood pet/boyfriend. I love Animal Crossing as much as the next person, but for the love of God, Raymond is a program. (Besides, Kabuki is the best cat.) There’s being a fan, being a massive fan, and then there’s being whatever the fuck this person was. 

People find comfort in media like games, books, and TV shows. This is nothing new. The daily slog of life is made a little easier when you focus on fictional characters and their troubles instead of your own. But, if you already have trouble distinguishing reality from fantasy, or you have issues with attachments, you are likely to form a parasocial relationship with someone who doesn’t exist (or who is not aware that you exist).

According to a study on the topic from 2021, the way one handles relationship attachment is correlated to how one immerses themselves in fiction. Attachment anxiety is when a person constantly needs to be reassured of the relationship’s standing, and constantly seeks affection to remain stable. Attachment avoidance is when a person closes themselves off emotionally in constant anticipation that they will be hurt in their relationship. If someone has attachment anxiety as well as attachment avoidance, they tend to immerse themselves more heavily in works of fiction, and form a stronger parasocial relationship with a character. There is a sense of security in knowing that a fictional character will always be where they are, and there is the constant knowledge that the fictional character will not hurt you. 

Extreme levels of attachment anxiety coupled with other personality or delusional disorders can lead a person to believe that a fictional character is not only real (to an extent), but theirs and theirs alone to love and appreciate. This has happened in basically any fandom that isn’t a sports team (Maybe it has happened to a sports team? Who the fuck knows at this point?) People out there who contribute to a fandom of any sort have likely seen it. Someone says that they love a character, then someone else comes out of the woodwork and claims that character for themselves. Then comes the arguing, the trolling, the compulsive refreshing of their DMs to see if their target replied. Maybe they end up getting banned from their platform of choice because they sent death threats over their waifu’s honor. But 10 minutes later, they have a brand-new account and pick up where they left off. This cycle continues despite the fact that the object of their obsession is not real, will never be real, and was meant to be shared with as many people as possible. 

Others are obsessed in such a way that it affects their personal lives. For example, the Snapeists, or Snapewives, started out as a fan club to Severus Snape. No big deal, it happens. But eventually, some members of the group escalated from revisionist fanfics to a full-blown religion, where they began claiming that Snape’s ghost was somehow having sex with them. Not Alan Rickman’s ghost; Snape’s. A few of them even left long term relationships or stopped having sex with their significant others because that meant they would be cheating on Snape.

Again, I’m not bashing anyone with mental illness or attachment issues. I’m not the paragon of mental wellness by any stretch. I indulge in steamy fanfiction/art. I’ve daydreamed about being in *insert anime here* and *insert character here* enjoying my company (And I have no intention of stopping.). People should feel free to participate in fandoms as they like, as long as no one is being hurt or harassed. It’s all in good fun and camaraderie. 

But, like anyone will read about addiction or obsessive behaviors, you should seek help if the thing you are obsessing over has affected your real life relationships, jobs, or education. Speak with a therapist, or go over books/videos on managing obsessions. Put time into yourself, your hobbies, and your friends. And most importantly, put some distance between yourself and the thing you are obsessed with. If that means cutting it out entirely, so be it. But it is ultimately up to the obsessed individual to put in the work to regulate their life.  You can’t keep complaining about burns on your hand when you refuse to stop touching the fire. 

And what of Raymond?

The hype for Raymond died down after his amiibo card was released. Amiibo cards allow people to pick and choose which villagers can visit (and possibly move into) their towns. People could get Raymond in their town all they liked, and use their precious Bells as they were meant to be used: buying a grand piano for their house, and a crown for their head.