Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends aired on Cartoon Network in the mid 00s. The show was about a mansion, run by the eccentric Madame Foster, where no-longer-needed imaginary friends could stay until they were adopted by other kids. The main characters were Mac, an 8-year old boy, and his imaginary friend, Bloo, a blue blob. Together, they have many adventures and hi-jinks with other residents of the foster home. The show was charming, funny, and still holds up today.

But, I wouldn’t be making this post if I (and others) did not have beef with Bloo, “the best imaginary friend a kid ever had.” At the beginning of the series, Bloo was mischievous and a little selfish, but ultimately loved his friends, especially Mac. But, halfway through the first season he just became an insufferable idiot.

Being A Jealous Attention Seeker

Multiple episodes in the series center around Bloo acting like an idiot because someone else is getting attention.

In “Bloo Done It,” when popular IF Uncle Pockets returns to the foster home once again, everyone welcomes him back with open arms, except Bloo. He’s jealous of Uncle Pockets’ kind nature and coat pockets full of surprises. He decides to print an exposé in the Foster’s newspaper for the sole purpose of taking Pockets down a peg. Bloo misinterprets Uncle Pockets’ words and actions, leading him to believe that Madame Foster was murdered by Pockets. Eventually, it comes out that Madame Foster is fine and dandy, and everything Bloo saw and heard was a series of coincidences. This doesn’t make Bloo apologize, and in fact, he gets more jealous after this stunt boosts Uncle Pockets’ popularity.

Later, in “Cuckoo for Coco Cards,” one of Bloo’s allegedly close friends, Coco, becomes popular with kids during a field trip. She even makes trading cards of the IFs for everyone to pass around and trade. Bloo insults her and tries stealing her thunder, then has the audacity to demand cards from her. While he does eventually apologize to Coco for being a dick, it doesn’t last.

The Entirety of “Squeakerboxx”

The gang goes to an arcade and all win tickets to exchange for prizes. Bloo, being greedy, tries suggesting pooling their tickets together so they can get the prize that HE wants. The others get a rubber toy elephant instead. Bloo doesn’t care until he realizes the toy squeaks, then he becomes obsessed with it. When it isn’t his turn with the toy, he bugs his friends to hand over the toy because they aren’t playing with it “right.” When Bloo finally DOES get the toy, he drives everyone nuts by constantly squeaking it. He later steals the toy in the middle of the night to play with it more, but ends up breaking it.

Bloo tries getting Mac to replace the toy for him, but Mac refuses, wanting Bloo to either admit what he did to the others, or fix/replace the toy on his own. Bloo does basically everything EXCEPT replacing the toy. He even earns enough tickets at the arcade to replace it, and ends up getting shitty plastic vampire teeth instead. He finally tries stealing a toy elephant from a little girl. When that fails, Mac gets tired of the pathetic display, and replaces the toy himself.

So, ultimately, he scammed, stole, and nearly threw hands with a second grader to fix his problem, not because he felt bad about it, but so he wouldn’t get caught. And even then, Mac STILL ended up replacing the elephant.

General Assholery

Bloo has been in every single episode of Foster’s, so naturally, there are lots of examples of him being a dick. But, a few that come to mind are:

• Tore up additional tickets for the Europe trip in front of the friend who really wanted to go.
• Stole the house’s bus, took it on a joyride, caused a metric fuckton of damage, then stole the bus again after the whole ordeal.
• Posted an embarrassing video of house manager Mr. Herriman online without his permission.
• Ruined the gang’s big camping trip through a combination of gluttony and laziness.
• Put ultra spicy hot sauce into everyone’s food and blamed another friend who was then deported (admittedly, that one cracks me up).
• Repeatedly threw “surprise birthday parties” for Mac, one of which resulted in this…

…and continuing to do so until the poor kid went full Rambo trying to stop Bloo from throwing another surprise party.

Don’t get me wrong, a lot of Bloo’s antics are still funny, even after his flanderization. To this day, the Orlando Bloo disguise still makes me laugh.

Furthermore, Bloo is shown to care for his friends throughout the whole series, doing nice things for them in his misguided way. He was even willing to be the “motor” of a massage chair as a gift to Madame Foster (technically he stole the chair, but still). But, holy crap, Bloo went from lovable troublemaker to obnoxious, selfish, dangerous jackass in less than 5 episodes. That’s got to be some kind of record.

Blooregard Q. Kazoo, you’re a terrible person imaginary friend.