I made a post some time ago about assholes wanting to be right, even when it’s to their detriment. Among the examples, I mentioned people who represent themselves in criminal court. People do this for a variety of reasons: mistrust in the legal system, lack of funds, or wanting to preemptively get an insanity defense going. People are well within their rights to act as their own lawyer. But, more often than not, it ends up poorly, almost hilariously so.

Ronnie O’Neal III

The crime: Ronnie O’Neal III had gotten heavily involved with some type of spirituality. He had spent a large amount of time trying to get his ex-girlfriend and their shared children to join him in his religion. The mother, Kenyatta Baron, didn’t want to, and their kids were weirded out by the way O’Neal was acting. Things came to a head in March 2018, when O’Neal shot Kenyatta to death in a fit of rage. Not satisfied, he took a hatchet to his autistic, non-verbal daughter, then stabbed his son multiple times. Then, he set the house on fire. Strangely, O’Neal called 911 twice during the ordeal, telling the operator that Kenyatta was a “white demon,” and that their kids were “the devil’s kids.” Fortunately, O’Neal’s son, Ronnie IV, survived the attack, and was able to explain exactly what happened.

The trial: Ol’ Pineapple Head decided to reject counsel, saying that he was going to prove that he only murdered Kenyatta in “self-defense”, because Kenyatta was apparently the one who had murdered their daughter. Furthermore, he was going to conclusively prove that there was some conspiracy mounted against him by the county’s law enforcement to pin all the crimes from that night on him. He was told multiple times by the judge to stop screaming and swearing during his opening and closing statements. While cross-examining his son, he accused the boy of being a liar, and basically tried intimidating him into changing his statements. He didn’t really ask the other witnesses questions. Rather, he tried spinning a yarn, then asked the witnesses and first responders, “Isn’t THAT what happened?” O’ Neal basically pulled the “If you didn’t see it, it didn’t happen” card.

The sentence: Despite actually opting for counsel in the penalty phase, the damage was already done. He not only fucked his chances of a plea deal or appeals, his smirking at Kenyatta’s relatives and refusal to apologize did not get him any leniency. Ronnie O’Neal III got 3 life sentences, plus 90 years for the additional charges, all running consecutively. Had he used counsel, and maybe shown some kind of remorse, a lesser murder charge would have been on the table. But O’ Neal was more focused on screaming and having terrible dreads than the actual trial.

Darrell Brooks

The crime: Darrell Brooks thought that two weeks after posting bail for running over a woman, he should go out and run over some more people. And on November 21, 2021, he did just that. He drove an SUV through a holiday parade, trying to hit as many people as he could, and looking very calm while he did it. In total, 6 people died, and 62 were hurt. Brooks did not really have a reason for doing this, but theories point to a mental breakdown and general anger after a domestic dispute with his then-girlfriend.

The trial: Holy hell. This trial has been memed to hell and back. Many are convinced that Brooks knew he was going to prison forever and decided to just be a jackass as one last hurrah. Others are convinced that the last piece of Brooks’ already low sanity went bye-bye over the course of the trial. But, a few highlights include:

• Brooks declaring he is a sovereign citizen, and thus, can’t be tried
• Repeatedly interrupting testimony with random commentary instead of proper objections
• Staring down the judge
• Taking his shirt off and putting papers down his pants
• Making a little fort of boxes on a desk and hiding behind it

The sentence: In total, Brooks was given 6 life sentences for the deaths, as well as 762 years for the injuries, all running consecutively. There’s probably a few extra months slapped in there for contempt of court, but that’s a bit of a moot point now. With counsel, he could have likely gotten an insanity defense going, or at least gotten a plea deal. But considering the severity of the crime and how many people were hurt, the best he could have gotten was concurrent life sentences.

Trevor Summers

The crime: Trevor Summers’ life wasn’t going too well prior to him trying to represent himself in criminal court. He had been sued multiple times for scamming people out of money, falsely declaring bankruptcy, and basically being a shady fraudster. His wife, Alisa Mathewson, got tired of his shit, filed for divorce, took the kids, got a restraining order, and left.

Of course, being the sound-minded, good Christian man that he is, he manipulated his eldest daughter to let him into the house they were staying at under the guise of “just wanting to talk to Mom so they can get back together.” Once he was inside, he made his not-old-enough-to-have-her-permit daughter take their siblings in the van and drive to Trevor’s house. Trevor then proceeded to tie Alisa up, sexually assault her, and try to kill her multiple times over the course of nearly 3 days. He then loaded Alisa into a car and drove around the state looking for a place to end everything. Alisa briefly escaped the car while it was stopped and screamed for help, prompting someone to call the cops.

The trial: There was an astronomical amount of evidence against Summers, including testimony from his kids and the recorded confessions from Summers himself. Despite this, he kept flip-flopping on whether or not he wanted to represent himself. He had hired and fired counsel multiple times during the trial. He even fired his last lawyer in the middle of cross-examining the victim, so he could personally ask her questions about his attack on her. Summers kept downplaying his actions and posed objections, claiming that Alisa was being over-dramatic with her answers to his questions. But, during cross-examination and closing statements, he said that the state and his ex-wife could not prove “what was in his heart” during the crime. Ultimately, he said that he was guilty of some but not all of the charges against him.

The sentence: Trevor Summers was found guilty of every single charge, including attempted murder, sexual battery, and multiple counts of child neglect (no one came back for the kids until after he was arrested). He was sentenced to 3 life sentences, as well as 224 years. He probably could have gotten parole or maybe even had some of the other charges thrown out had he kept his lawyer. Instead, he took the opportunity to torment his ex-wife again.

Colin Ferguson

The crime:  In December of 1993, Colin Ferguson boarded a train in Brooklyn, New York. As it made its way to one of the stops, Ferguson pulled a semi-automatic pistol out of his bag and started shooting. People were pushing and trampling each other to get to safety, and because the train hadn’t pulled into the station completely yet, the conductor didn’t open the doors. Someone was able to climb out of a window and jimmy the doors open, so people could leave. While Ferguson was reloading, a group of men tackled him and held him until the cops arrived.

His reason for doing this was outlined in a manifesto literally called “Reasons for This.” In a nutshell, he had a deep seated hatred of white people, having experienced racism after moving to the US from Jamaica. He planned over the course of days to board a train, and shoot as many white people, Asians, and “Uncle Toms” as he could. In total, 6 people died, and 21 were injured, all of various races.

The trial: Ferguson did initially have counsel. 3 lawyers were willing to represent him, but one quit and the other two were fired. The two lawyers who were fired had tried to go for a “black rage” insanity defense, saying that Ferguson snapped after experiencing so much racism. But Ferguson insisted that he wasn’t insane. He opted to represent himself (with occasional help from a friend of his who was a lawyer) and it went about as well as you would expect.

Ferguson said that he had 93 counts against him because it was the year 1993, and would have had 25 counts if it was 1925. He claimed that someone else committed the murders. He then claimed that someone implanted a computer chip in his brain to make him do it. He asked the witnesses and victims to basically repeat their testimonies, then got pissed when they said things like “You shot me.” He claimed to have had a few witnesses lined up, including a ballistics expert, a handwriting expert, and then-president Bill Clinton. He didn’t call any witnesses, didn’t cross-examine correctly, didn’t take the stand, and repeatedly said there were numerous conspiracies from numerous sources working against him. 

Did I mention he had paranoid personality disorder?

The sentence: Ferguson’s lack of remorse and comparing himself to John the Baptist during victim impact statements pissed off so many people, that one of the victims tried beating him up, and the lawyer friend Ferguson brought in asked to leave the proceedings. (The judge said no.) Since his victims were not all the same race, the hate crime charges were dropped. Nevertheless, Colin Ferguson was sentenced to a total of 315 years for the murders and attempted murders. He tried appealing with appointed legal counsel, but it was denied.

And don’t even get me started on the SNL sketch about this trial.

Tiffany Moss

The crime: Tiffany Moss was married to a man named Eman, who already had children. One of his daughters, Emani, lived with them, and the children they shared together. Tiffany would abuse and neglect Emani, leading to an investigation from Children and Family Services. As a result of these investigations, Tiffany went on probation and lost her job as a preschool teacher. This made Tiffany abuse Emani even more; beating her, cutting off her hair, and starving her for weeks.

Eventually, Emani passed away at the age of 10, weighing about the same as the average toddler. Tiffany and Eman decided to cover up her death and try to destroy the body by burning it. This failed, and eventually the guilt was too much for Eman to bear. So, he confessed, leading to him and Tiffany being arrested.

The trial: Tiffany opted to not have full legal representation when taking the case to a jury trial. She did have attorneys on standby in case she had any questions about the proceedings. But, she didn’t ask questions about proceedings, nor did she didn’t make opening or closing statements. She didn’t cross examine anyone or ask for her relatives to act as character witnesses. She just sat there, barely emoting while people described how much anguish her stepdaughter was in before she died. Tiffany even listened to her husband testify against her, and she just looked like she was thinking about what to have for dinner.

The sentence: Tiffany was sentenced to death. Funnily, she decided to appeal her sentence and did request counsel. Even funnier, the lawyer said that Tiffany wasn’t competent to represent herself in court due to damage to parts of her brain. But, this little nugget of information came a bit too late, since Tiffany was found competent to stand trial and represent herself at the beginning of the fucking trial. In addition, in every single pro se trial, the defendant is given warning that they can’t claim mistrials due to ineffective counsel. 

If Tiffany had opted to work with counsel, her brain damage would have been taken into consideration, and she could have gotten life in prison just like Eman did. But, the appeal was denied and she remains on death row to this day.