In “randomly popped into my head without rhyme or reason” news, I thought about Bean Dad this week.

Back in 2021, indie musician/podcaster John Roderick posted a thread on Twitter (as it was still known at the time). He detailed how his 9-year-old daughter approached him, saying she was hungry. Roderick thought it would be a good time for a teachable moment. His kid was getting bigger and needed to learn how to prepare her own lunch. So, you would think he would bring her into the kitchen with him and teach her to make something easy. Maybe he would show her how to operate the microwave for cup mac and cheese, or show her the best ingredients for a sandwich. 

Roderick instead decided to tell his daughter to make baked beans. When his daughter asked how to open the can, Roderick told her to figure it out on her own. By Roderick’s own admission, he never showed her how to use the can opener prior to this. His daughter struggled with this can of beans and this mostly-unknown-to-her second object. She repeatedly asked for help in using the can opener, but Roderick kept refusing. He said that she needed to learn how to do this on her own, wanting her to use her critical thinking skills. He also told her that neither of them wouldn’t be eating a bite of anything until she got the can open.

Eventually, 6 hours of anger and tears later, the daughter finally figured out how to open the can. Roderick says he was proud of his daughter for doing this task all by herself, and even jokes that she wanted to open a bunch of other cans in the house afterward. But, what Roderick thought was a story of triumph, perseverance, and good parenting just laid the groundwork for #BeanDad to start trending.

People were understandably mad at Roderick. The bulk of people in the comments were saying that their abusive parents would do things similar to this, then get violently angry when the kids inevitably failed at the tasks. Others said that having a child figure things out alone is better for questions like “Why is the sky blue?” It was also argued that this “teachable moment” didn’t have a whole lot of teaching. People said, if anything, this day taught Roderick’s daughter that she couldn’t ask her dad for help, lest he talk down to her. 

Roderick defended himself, insisting that his daughter had other food to eat. He also said that his daughter was mostly laughing during the six hours at how ridiculous the situation was. But, this contradicted what was said in the original thread; that he told his daughter she wouldn’t eat until she got that can open, and she was angry and crying at multiple points. He doubled down, saying that he was exaggerating details in the story for comedic effect, that he’s a good parent, and that “the only thing people are touchier about than parenting style is dog ownership.” 

To make matters worse, people began going through his Twitter account, and found several tweets from years prior, filled with racist, anti-Semitic, and sexist content.

Despite Roderick’s insistence that he made the statements ironically, it didn’t change the fact that the tweets were tone-deaf and further cemented his “asshole” status.

After less than 24 hours, John Roderick deleted his Twitter account, unable to handle much more backlash, including a popular podcast no longer using one of his songs as their theme song. The following day, Roderick put out an apology on his personal website, acknowledging that the way he told the bean story made it seem like he was an abusive parent and expressing sympathy for those who were in circumstances like that. He also apologized for his offensive tweets, saying that they were meant to be satirical or ironic, but knows that regardless of his intent, his words still had a negative impact.

As a result of the controversy, he was suspended as a co-host for the Friendly Fire podcast, shortly before the show ended entirely. The other hosts, during a Reddit AMA a few years later, denied that the controversy was the sole reason why; rather, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The unverified reasons alleged Roderick was always a dick (moreso than on the show) and his co-hosts were getting sick of his shit long before this event. A verified reason was that Roderick allegedly sexually harassed another performer while he was on the JoCo Cruise, and the Friendly Fire hosts wished to distance themselves from him for a while after that.

A CPS investigation into Roderick’s family was launched later in the month. CPS found no wrongdoing, but people were still concerned about the daughter’s wellbeing. The general public isn’t entitled to information about their family life, but Roderick was the one to make the story public in the first place, and he didn’t outright deny that it happened. So, people sought answers when he nuked his Twitter. I’m not sure if people reached out to the child’s mother, who was apparently there the whole time. I’m also going to make the assumption that Roderick’s daughter, who would be about 13 at present, does not have social media. So, she can’t verify details of the “bean story.” We likely won’t know the full truth until someone that’s not Roderick says something, but it may never happen, nor should anyone expect it.

As I mentioned before, there are times when you should let your kid figure things out on their own. Learning to cook isn’t one of those things, considering how quickly things can go wrong. But, anyone that can’t figure out ways to solve problems on their own won’t make it far in the real world. Everyone in the history of history has learned how to do things by inspecting and fiddling around until something happened. But, they have learned to do things much faster by either watching others do the same tasks, or having the task taught to them by others.

Where the “figure it out” method fails is the parent misestimating the intelligence of their kid. Namely, many parents assume their kids know how to do certain things inherently, then get frustrated or even angry when they don’t. For instance, it’s considered a milestone when a baby learns how to pick up a spoon, and another milestone when the baby uses the spoon to put food in their mouth rather than fling it into mommy’s eye. The baby can learn how to use a spoon on their own by watching the parents feeding themselves. The parents can teach a baby to use a spoon by mimicking the action of eating with a spoon while the baby watches. No one tells the baby, “No food until you learn to use that spoon correctly.” That will just make the baby cry and warrant a visit from CPS. (Wait…)

As for my personal thoughts on Bean Dad, based on what I’ve read from and about him, I’m not going to say that John Roderick is some kind of abusive scumbag. But, what I will say is that the bean story and comments made by fans of the podcasts he co-hosted make him seem like an arrogant asshole. He was implying his daughter is unintelligent for not understanding the mechanics of an object she was just handed. He found it amusing that she was getting frustrated to the point of tears. Using sentences like “You understand everything except how the tool addresses the can” isn’t funny, nor is it teaching your kid. You’re waxing poetic about a fucking can of beans. 

To my understanding, Roderick tried reactivating his Twitter account at a later time, but it has since been suspended for violating the ToS (not sure why). He still has other social media accounts active, like his Instagram and Facebook, and all things considered, he’s doing alright. He has made posts joking about living in Seattle, hanging with his daughter, and plugging his projects. He’s still co-hosting the Omnibus podcast with Ken Jennings, and still participates in the Roderick on the Line podcast with Merlin Mann.

John Roderick said that he was basically being an asshole for the bit, but the bit didn’t land. As for Twitter’s attempts to “cancel” him, they didn’t work, as he still has a solid social media following on Instagram and Facebook, and still sells lots of tickets to his live shows. And unlike other people who have been through the wringer on a social site, comments on his recent posts aren’t filled with jokes about beans. Things should be a-ok with him and his daughter, and hopefully, they stay that way. But, as I said at the start, this was just another one of those, “I wonder what happened with so-and-so,” thoughts. Now that I know, it can be filed away under all the other internet dramas I’ve been privy to over the years.

One more quick meme, though.