I was watching a few videos on the supposed “male loneliness epidemic.”  The videos I watched on the subject all started the same way; the men in the videos would complain about why they just can’t seem to get any positive attention from women. I then would think, “This guy isn’t bad looking. He seems to have a decent job or education. He’s close to his family. He’s got friends. So, why is he lonely?”

Then, a few seconds later, he reveals why he is lonely without intending to. He says that he was having an interaction with a woman who indicated that she wasn’t interested, continued to pursue her, and then got mad when she escalated her refusal. He sprinkles in some points about how women don’t approach men with compliments or how ladies don’t give their men flowers and chocolates (which is a fair point and I think should be done more often). But, it basically boils down to “This FEEMAYUL rejected me even though I’m ME! How dare she!?”

“Lonely” men all seem to have the same talking points about the same issues with women. They think that women set their standards too high due to feminism, and that they are only looking for a certain type of man, and won’t settle for the average Joe. They say that most, if not all, women only date to get free food or validation from men, then accuse men of misconduct at the drop of a hat. According to the “lonely” man, it is entirely due to women that men are more lonely than ever. 

“So, the solution to this epidemic is…?” The women ask.
“Spread your legs and shut up.” The “lonely” men respond.

I know. I’m grossed out, too.

After doing a bit more research, I was able to boil two reasons for the supposed “male loneliness epidemic.”

1. “Lonely” men are lonely because they don’t see women as people.

A lot of the men complaining about being alone spout a lot of redpill-y, manosphere-y, incel-y rhetoric. That means they don’t see women as people with THOUGHTS and FEELINGS and AUTONOMY. “Lonely” men think that women are completely different creatures. A tiny part of this massive estrogen-filled hivemind that just wants money and free food, and if you give them those things (and ONLY those things), sex and permanent loyalty will happen. 

So, Mr. Lonely puts feelers out there, laying his criteria on the line. But, just because he’s lonely doesn’t mean he should have to lower his standards. Oh, goodness, no. Mr. Lonely needs the perfect FEEMAYUL for his needs. A woman who wants to have his kids, but will do 90 – 100% of the childcare. A woman who doesn’t have a high body count, but fucks like a porn star. A woman who will be as loyal as a golden retriever, but won’t care if her man is a chronic cheater. A woman who is financially independent, but not so much that he can’t pay stuff for the sole purpose of her owing him sex later. 

The next option for the “lonely” man is to pretend to be okay with settling for someone less than what they truly want. A woman who doesn’t want/can’t have children. A woman who’s had a lot of sexual partners in the past. A woman who isn’t conventionally attractive in some way. 

Once Mr. Lonely has the woman in his clutches, he stops pretending to care about her or even overtly mistreats her because she isn’t the ideal FEEMAYUL. For having the gall to not be what Mr. Lonely wanted in the first place, he does things to make her feel unvalued and unloved, usually with the hope that she’ll immediately transform into what he wanted. Then, when the woman finally has enough and emotionally checks out or even leaves, Mr. Lonely complains again, saying things like “Man, I paid her bills, but now I’m alone again! You can’t trust these FEEMAYULS!” 

Yes, Mr. Lonely. You paid her bills. But, you also constantly mocked her appearance, fucked another woman in her bed, and threatened to abandon the kids on numerous occasions. If she did the same things, she would be a disloyal, gold-digging slut like all the other FEEMAYULS in the hivemind, wouldn’t she?

Putting money into the relationship isn’t enough. Your significant other isn’t a vending machine.

2. “Lonely” men are lonely because they don’t seek companionship from women to stop being lonely. They seek companionship from women as a way to get validation from men.

This point here comes from incels and other manosphere orbiters blaming all of their problems on a lack of “bitches.” There are a lot of people who will use “incel” as an insult, or generally insult someone for not having sex/being in a relationship. Normally, when a woman does it, it’s because she’s mocking the fact that the man doesn’t know how to behave around a woman. Normally, when a man does it, he is implying that he gets more cooch than the man he’s mocking. And much like anything bullying-related, once Mr. Lonely hears it enough times, he starts believing it and wants to correct what’s presumably wrong with him.

But, not by learning to behave around a woman; that would be too hard. He “corrects” himself by trying to get as much pussy as the next guy, usually by listening to advice from thrice-divorced uncles or pickup artists. If Mr. Lonely just had a bangmaid partner, things in his life would just fall into place. He’d have an emotional outlet, someone to clean up after them, coochie on standby at all times, and most importantly, the respect of his male peers. After all, every “alpha male” course says that a big key to success is getting all the coochie you possibly can…which will inevitably lead to more money and even more coochie? I don’t know how that works.

Here’s where that point falls apart. Mr. Lonely and other like-minded men (manosphere orbiters, redpillers, etc.) will give other men shit no matter where he is in his love life. 

Single? “Ha ha, no bitches?”
Girlfriend? “Ha ha, what a simp!”
Engaged? “Ha ha, you’re gonna spend the rest of your life on ONE pussy when there are BILLIONS out there, bro?!”
Married? “Ha ha, Frank-Bill-Jim can’t hang out with us because his WIFE said so! He’s whipped!”

The only time guys like that are supportive about a guy’s love life is when their guy friends get broken up with. Even then, a lot of the “support” is advice like, “Leak her nudes,” or “Don’t think about it and go to the gym/fuck some girls TODAY.” That’s not really validation, or even good advice. They’re just telling their friend to bury their feelings under machismo, which, unfortunately, is more socially acceptable for a man to do.

But, seriously, what is the real reason for all the loneliness? Why are men actually lonely (not just horny and pissed)?

The real reason men are lonely is because of toxic masculinity and the role it plays in society. 

Men have been told not to be emotionally vulnerable for centuries. We live in a world that says the only things a man is allowed to feel are joy, lust, and anger. If a man is unhappy, he needs to go to the gym, fuck a woman, or punch holes in the wall. No talking it out. No journaling. No crying. No letting other people know you’re struggling.

Men and women alike have been known to mock and deride men for having and talking about complex emotions. “Men don’t cry; crying makes you a pussy.” “Men don’t talk about their feelings; having feelings makes you a pussy.” “Going to therapy is for crazy people and pussies.” This line of thinking has gotten to the point where men can’t go to their male friends for help with their emotions. It would be like the blind leading the blind. This, in turn, leads to more feelings of being lonely and isolated, despite having friends or being in committed relationships. 

As for the point about women not approaching men in public with compliments or giving them flowers and candy, it’s been burned into everyone’s head, including Mr. Lonely’s, that it’s not proper for women to make the first move. “REAL alpha males make the first move! It means you’re confident! If the FEEMAYUL makes the first move, that makes you a beta cuck soyboy!” Also, Mr. Lonely’s “compliments” usually involve staring at body parts or comments about said body parts. If I yelled “WHAT THAT MOUTH DO?!” at a man across a parking lot, he’d PROBABLY be very uncomfortable. As for the flowers, “Flowers are fucking gay, bro! If your girl wants to give you a present, she needs to give you a threesome with her hot friend!”

With all this in mind, the idea of a recent “male loneliness epidemic” doesn’t make sense. At least, it doesn’t make sense the way the manosphere bros say it is. Men are truly lonely because they make themselves lonely, and they make themselves lonely because society demands they deal with their problems alone. This unfortunately has been happening for years upon years. But, as society marches on, it is becoming more socially acceptable for men to manage their emotions in a healthy way; by being emotionally vulnerable to loved ones and professionals.

The true solution to the male loneliness epidemic starts with both acknowledging the complexities of men’s emotions and individual men cultivating meaningful relationships with others; not finding women to be bangmaids.