Disclaimer: Before someone rips my head off, when I say “lonely” men, of course I am not talking about all men. All men are not entitled, incel-adjacent manipulators. All men are not glazing Andrew Tate at the expense of neglecting their romantic partners. When I say “lonely” men, I mean the entitled men who blame women for their loneliness, kinda like this guy (To be fair, this man was actually willing to hear from women the reason why, and didn’t get super buttmad about it, as shown in this response.).

Picking up where I left off last week, I was saying that there wasn’t a “male loneliness epidemic.” People in general feel more lonely and isolated lately, and the number is steadily increasing the more the world turns to shit. Men in particular are lonely because society expects them to deal with their troubles on their own. But, “lonely” men nowadays say that they are “lonely” when they really mean that they are sexually frustrated.

This made me think of the original 40-year-old virgin: Leisure Suit Larry.

In the first LSL game, the goal is for Larry to lose his virginity before sunrise on his 40th birthday. If the player fails, Larry will kill himself. This kinda falls in line with incel/manosphere/redpill stuff, doesn’t it? A man puts way too much stock into whether or not he gets his dick wet to the point that it negatively affects his mental health.

Now, one of the ladies you interact with in LSL1 is a prostitute. Get the right items together, and you can sleep with her. Hooray! Larry lost his virginity, and can disco dance another day. But, hark and behold! A message appears on the screen:

The game continues. Larry isn’t any noticeably happier after sleeping with the prostitute. He’s still the same schlubby, stank-breath dork he was at the beginning of the game. The world continues to spin, and he still offs himself at sunrise. I realize this bad ending was just Al Lowe’s sense of humor coming through, but remember, there ARE people who commit irreversibly terrible acts in relation to getting their junk touched. Thankfully, this was changed in the first remake of LSL1, and removed entirely from Reloaded.

Sex, marriage, or just having a lot of women at your beck and call isn’t the cure-all some men think it is. Just because Mr. Lonely piledrives a woman and makes her wash his skidmarks doesn’t mean his brain chemistry will be altered enough to cure his depression or make him less misogynistic. The thing is, “lonely” men do know this. That’s why they aren’t just doing casual hookups or soliciting sex workers. (I’m not encouraging people to do anything illegal here, but I’m just saying sex workers exist) 

Soliciting a sex worker is not even an option for a lot of “male loneliness sufferers.” Just sleeping with a woman that is offering (paid or otherwise) doesn’t count to them. They need to go through the whole rigmarole of manipulating a woman they don’t really love into being a romantic partner, and keep her around with breadcrumbs of affection. As I mentioned before, a lot of guys will ignore, cheat on, or otherwise mistreat their romantic partners, but stay with them anyway, just so they won’t be alone. Never mind cultivating his friendships, investing in his hobbies, or even learning to appreciate his own company before shoving a permanent companion role onto someone he secretly hates. Mr. Lonely needs a woman NOW, and is ready to make that everyone else’s problem.

I say again, being in a long term relationship with a woman you don’t even like won’t make you feel any more fulfilled. It will just make you feel more alone. Life will go on and the problems that were there before will still be there. The “lonely” man will still feel he is entitled to a woman, but is not improving his mental health, behavior, hygiene, or living situation. Furthermore, he will begin resenting the woman he’s with for not being the woman he wants. That, in turn, will just lead to eventual hatred, and you guessed it, loneliness.

Returning to Larry Laffer, the game doesn’t end for him until he forms a connection with someone who genuinely likes him. The final lady in the first game, Eve, doesn’t care that Larry is short, broke, 40 years old, or wearing a 70s leisure suit. She sees his confidence, sense of humor, and even his clothes as attractive, and is more than eager to have some private time with him. 

That’s another thing “lonely” men don’t realize. They complain that women won’t lower their standards for them (despite having sky-high standards themselves). But, there are loads of women out there who would find them attractive and want to get to know them. But, finding someone attractive is different from wanting to stay. More often than not, something in the “lonely” man’s behavior or personality puts the women off and drives them away after that first contact. Maybe Mr. Lonely starts negging the woman. Maybe he just isn’t putting in the effort she’s putting in for dates. Maybe the woman realizes that Mr. Lonely is straight up lying about himself/his values in order to be with her. Whatever the case, the woman leaves or stops engaging. Then, Mr. Lonely gets pissed that women aren’t willing to accept his crappy behavior.

Speaking of crappy behavior, what happened with Larry and Eve? When the sequel rolls around, Eve dumps Larry. Why? Because he tried moving in with Eve very, very shortly after they slept together. 

Now, there are clear wrongs on both sides. Eve didn’t make her stance on their relationship clear, and didn’t tell him she wasn’t interested in anything long-term. Larry made assumptions about their relationship and didn’t tell her what he was really looking for before sleeping with her. This situation maybe could have been salvaged if they were both forthcoming about what they wanted. But, Eve didn’t get angry and sic her dog on Larry until he let her know he had already moved his things into her house.

I know it’s weird to basically turn Leisure Suit Larry into a case study on “male loneliness.” Especially since he hooks up with women by various means. (I think I just got another idea for a post…) But, a few things can be learned here. Larry Laffer is aware he’s not conventionally attractive, but he is still confident in himself. He doesn’t always accept a woman’s “I’m not interested” (only because there would be no game if he did), but isn’t bitter towards women about being rejected so much. He’s not tall, rich, or buff, but a number of women still want to give him a shot after he stops giving them cheesy pickup lines and actually talks to them. Larry’s successes can be the successes of Mr. Lonely if he applies a bit of the “Laffer charm.”

That being said, don’t do EVERYTHING Larry does to get the ladies. After all, he’s stolen valuables, cheated in competitions, and (accidentally) killed someone.

…It makes sense in context. **NSFW**