If you’re like me, and have cried about anything that wasn’t a loved one dying, you’ve probably heard this phrase. Getting lectured by parents, getting into a bad argument with your spouse, making a mistake at work then getting reamed out by the boss. Sometimes, all you can do at that moment is just cry about it. But, good Lord forbid OTHER PEOPLE see you crying, and it becomes a scandal. A sign of weakness that people will 100% pounce on. I’ve heard this phrase so many times growing up, I deadass looked up how to have my tear ducts surgically removed so I wouldn’t cry in front of people anymore.

Turns out, you need your tear ducts; they’re a vital part of your eye, and if they aren’t keeping your eyes moist, you could go blind.

Why are people so offended by people crying? It would be one thing if all they ever did was cry. You know, the whole “boo hoo, woe is me” thing, and then they don’t make any effort to fix it. But, when people are crying after being yelled at, hit, or told that their hard work isn’t/will never be good enough, the person causing their distress invalidates their feelings by saying “You’re being too sensitive. This is why no one can say anything to you.”

What is the alternative, then? Would they rather have the “sensitive” person smile like the Joker when they’re getting dumped all over? Would they rather the “sensitive” person not emote at all when they’re upset? What is an acceptable level of insensitivity?

Telling an upset person they’re being too sensitive may hold some truth. It’s entirely likely that someone is overreacting to what is being said or done to them. But, it’s also a form of gaslighting, used to shift blame away from the person who caused the distress.

Saying a child is too sensitive for being sad after getting a spanking is not only invalidating, it teaches the wrong lesson about regulating their emotions. It makes them feel like they can’t be sad or mad about getting whipped with a belt. Someone calling their spouse “too sensitive” after saying something you know damn good and well hurts them to their core just shifts victimhood to the person who said the terrible thing. It’s just a way of redirecting who is at fault so the one who is at fault doesn’t need to feel bad for the way they acted.

What about the people that never cry ever? Even at a funeral for someone they’re supposedly close to. How emotionally constipated are you that you wouldn’t dare cry at a completely reasonable occasion than someone dying? And if you do cry, what would that make you? A hypocrite? A weakling? Or a fucking person with feelings that needs them to come out somewhere that’s not a hole in a wall or a drug in your veins?

Crying and being upset for a valid reason shouldn’t be demonized so much. I don’t get why crying makes a person weak. Most people do it, regardless of age. Happy or sad, it’s just something that happens when people are overwhelmed with emotion.

Having emotions doesn’t make people weak. Pretending not to have emotions or dumping on those who are “sensitive” doesn’t make people strong. What actually makes people strong is resilience. How quickly or how effectively you can bounce back after something bad happened. Something bad happens to someone, they sit in their feelings a while, then find and implement solutions. That should be the true indicator of emotional strength. But, no. People will just keep clowning on people for expressing their feelings in a normal way because…having feelings means you’re a pussy and nobody likes pussies, pussy.