I saw this post on a Reddit thread, and it got me thinking.

So, with this hypothetical, I am the manager of the band with a $100 budget, and I need to choose who will be in the band based on price. All members must attend every band practice, make one full album, and complete a full tour without the band breaking up.

Lead Singer: Nathan Explosion ($10)

Nathan is only worth $10 here for good reason. Despite being the frontman to the biggest death metal band in existence, he’s quick to anger/violence, sleeps in until 2pm, and when he isn’t being lazy as hell, he is perfectionistic about the music to the point that he erases entire albums if they aren’t up to his standards of brutality. Not only that, lots of people tend to die when he performs…and when he doesn’t feel like performing.

Assuming this is post-Army of the Doomstar Nathan, though, he takes his job more seriously and is willing to be a bit kinder to people. Even before AOTD, Nathan didn’t consider the band to be his solo project, and listened closely to his drummer and lead guitarist’s input. So, while Nathan will probably show up late to band practice, he’ll at least show up and put in work. And while there will probably be lots of bloodshed on the tour, the tour will finish with trillions of dollars in ticket and merch sales. 

As an aside, I’m surprised Nathan isn’t worth as much as Murderface for this, considering Murderface doesn’t even write his own bass parts. 

Lead Guitar: Noodle ($40)

You probably already noticed all four members of Gorillaz are on the board. The easy answer to this hypothetical would be to pick the Gorillaz members, but that’s not why we’re here! 

Noodle is already a famous guitarist in “real life,” but also plays the keyboard and melodica. At the end of the day, she just wants to make music and be part of something big. She tries hard to get along with members of Gorillaz, being like a sister to them, and I don’t doubt she would do the same with this band. But, she also doesn’t take any shit, especially after regaining her memories of when she was in that child super-soldier program (her lore is vast and complicated). I think the other members of this band would respect her and dig her sound. 

The only risk of her leaving the band would be if someone were to pull some sleeper agent shit on her again. But, I think she’s mostly worked through that issue.

Drummer: Benson Dunwoody ($20)

Benson, despite being kind of dorky, has proven time and again that he’s a skilled drummer. He is one of the few people/things in Regular Show to play a solo on a 150-piece percussion set and survive despite his skeleton catching fire.

Not only that, he takes his job seriously, no matter what it might be (since his work is all he has). His temper might be an issue, but he only gets mad when people aren’t doing their jobs properly. The only person I suspect would really piss him off would be Nathan and his chronic tardiness. But, it’s also possible that his strict adherence to deadlines would keep the band on track for the album’s release date.

Bassist: Tolkien Black ($30)

Everyone knows the joke about why Tolkien is good at the bass. But, that doesn’t change the fact that Tolkien is a talented bassist without even needing to try. The last time he lent his talent to a band, it did amazingly well, with the debut album selling a million copies (which Tolkien never saw a cent of because Cartman ruined everything).

Tolkien is an intelligent, studious, already musically-inclined kid. If he was putting in the work for a band he basically was bullied into, imagine how well he’d do on one that’s guaranteed to pull in trillions of dollars that he’ll actually get some of. He’ll attend every band practice on time and without fail. With his parents’ permission, he’ll be on every leg of the tour, playing his best for the fans. 

So, that’s $100 on a band right there. For their sound, I think they would either be melodic metal or alternative rock, working best with Nathan’s naturally gravelly voice, Benson’s crazy drumming, Noodle’s glorious riffs, and Tolkien’s solid basslines. As for a name… I have no fucking clue. But, it would no doubt be the biggest band in the fictional multiverse.