Something’s wrong with me because my grown-ass woman brain immediately went to this little bitch.

Nanette Manoir is the main antagonist in the Angela Anaconda cartoon. She’s a spoiled brat who pretends she’s from Paris, but doesn’t know a lick of French. She kisses the teacher’s ass all day every day, and of course, is a bitch to everyone who isn’t rich. I think she even makes fun of Johnny “guy-she-has-a-crush-on-and-whose-family-owns-the-towns-most-popular-restaurant” Abatti, but that’s mostly because he prefers hanging out with Angela. She cares about money and appearances so much that she’ll drop her own cronies for not having real designer stuff. So, even being loyal to her doesn’t matter if you’re not rich.

I could not STAND Nanette growing up. She reminded me too much of the rich, popular girls I had to deal with in real life; bragging that they were better than you every chance they got, and pulling the victim card when they got called out for being mean. But Nanette was worse, because unlike in real life, Nanette would get off lightly for the things she did.

Sure, Angela would have all these crazy revenge fantasies about Nanette getting squished, dismembered, or just embarrassed in front of everyone. But, they were only fantasies. At the end of the day, Nanette would just get off lightly with whatever she was doing.

The punishment would fit the crime sometimes, like having to load camping bags on the school bus by herself when she didn’t help the other campers out, or getting detention when she got caught talking shit about the teacher. But things like this don’t happen nearly often enough for my liking. 

Any other bits of comeuppance she got were pretty minor. One notable instance is when the kids take a beginner’s ice skating class, and Nanette decides to join, despite already knowing how to ice skate. Among other issues, she indirectly breaks Angela’s arm. The other kids’ response? “Let’s dump a bunch of snow into her designer boots!” …Okay?

Another episode that pissed me off was when Nanette’s parents commissioned Angela’s mom to make a sculpture of her. Nanette spends the whole week commanding Angela to get stuff for her since she is posing and can’t move. Then, when the sculpture’s done, Mrs. Manoir shits on it for being too small. Nanette suggests leaving the statue behind because “it isn’t too small for their (the Anacondas) house.” The Anaconda family’s response? “Let’s leave it in the yard for the dog to piss on!” …Burn, I guess? (At least the Manoirs still paid for the sculpture.)

If I were a kid in Mrs. Brinks’ class, and Nanette started some shit with me, I would end it. You’re really going to go out of your way to come over while I’m playing, insult me, my clothes, my hair, or my friends, butcher the French language, then think you’ll just strut off? 8-year-old me was about that action and would 100% run hands with her. I guarantee nearly everyone in Mrs. Brinks’ class would thank me for it.