First of all, how the fuck did I piss off ALL of these people? I can understand Megatron, Godzilla, and Thragg. They just hate humans. But, Broly? Doom Guy? Fucking MANDY?! What did I do? I know I said a younger me was about that action last week, but that was 8-year-old me! Current me is quiet and stays in her lane! I do NOT want the smoke from anyone, least of all any of the people here! 

Anyway, this hypothetical calls for escape, no fighting. The way I see it, I’m going to need someone who can help me escape quickly, and another who can help me escape permanently.

For the quick escape, I would have to go with Vivian from Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. She is a Shadow Siren, and can pull whoever she is touching into the shadows to hide. It’s impossible to destroy a shadow, and the darker a place is, the better. I guess there would only be two instances where Vivian wouldn’t be able to pull me into the shadows: If we were outside on a very cloudy day or if we were in the tropics during a lahaina noon (when the sun is directly overhead, and there are no shadows cast). Outside of those two instances, as long as there are shadows, Vivian would be able to help me get out of the situation.

For the permanent escape, I would probably have to go with Dr. Strange. He can see and interact with multiple realities and timelines. I’m not sure how it would work, if I just plop myself into the reality where I didn’t piss everyone off, or if Dr. Strange would rewrite reality to make it so I never pissed them off to start with. But, in either case, I think I would be safe, until the heat dies down (if at all). If there’s a scenario where I survive this guild of annihilation, Dr. Strange will find it and help me get there.