Earl Dube. Andrew Ditch. Tophia Slydell. Christine Weston Chandler.

These are the names of a few infamous personalities on the Internet, known as “lolcows.” Their stories all seem to start and progress the same way. They put a few videos onto the internet, usually talking about random things or showcasing their passions, like dance or food. People think that they are weird and cringy, but continue to watch with morbid fascination and amusement. Their “popularity” grows, and they gain near-celebrity status, even though the viewers they attract are all eager to mock them. Then, the lolcow does something illegal, faces some degree of consequence, learns absolutely nothing from the experience, and continues to post online, engage with trolls, and cause their own mental decline. The cycle repeats until someone dies or the lolcow finally stops posting things online (which rarely happens).

Watching and following up with lolcows is a guilty pleasure of mine(so much so that a few of them will probably be getting their own posts in the future). I know in my heart of hearts that it’s wrong to be so judgemental of people, especially if I don’t know what they’re going through. But, for a lot of these lolcows, I do know what they’re going through. They often talk about their day to day lives, show their homes in-depth, and admit to their crimes on camera. You would think looking into the lives of such people wouldn’t be interesting or entertaining, but they are consistently covered by other content creators. There are dozens of documentaries and video essays on Chris-Chan alone. People are utterly fascinated by these strange, perverse, and volatile individuals.

Why?!

Is it the drama?

The lives of lolcows are often filled with drama. Angst over relationships (or a lack thereof) is common. Temper tantrums are as frequent as they are explosive. And of course there is the constant looming cloud of legal action. The life of a lolcow is like a gross soap opera.

Leslie “queenbadass” Clark is a wellspring of relationship drama. It seems that every other week she is complaining about an alleged boyfriend (usually a troll) that is no longer answering her calls, or crying about “the one that got away.” And by “got away” I mean, “ran for the hills because Leslie started fucking stalking him.” Eventually, when her lost love found a new girlfriend (YEARS after the fact), she took to TikTok and started crying, subtly threatening the other woman in her demands that she treat the ex right. But, Leslie has not been deterred in her quest for love, continuing to try and find it in several strange and illegal places.

Of course, there is family drama as well. Lashay Hinton is no stranger to drama within her family. She first hit the scene in the early 2010s when she uploaded a video of her teen self dancing in an Apple Store. Since then, she has grown up, and had a few kids, but is trying to make it as a TikTok influencer. As a single mother, it falls to her to keep her household running at any cost. And she has managed to fail that spectacularly, not only by not having steady work, relying on government assistance while simultaneously demanding donations from viewers, but also by having multiple CPS reports and house visits on the books. Allegedly, she has physically abused and neglected her kids, and allowed one of them to molest her niece. As of writing this, she has lost custody of both of her children, and doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to get them back.

Is it the judgement?

Comparison is the thief of joy, but not when it comes to lolcows. A lot of viewers feel much better about their mental health, relationships, and lives in general after peeking into the life of a lolcow. So many lolcows have violent reactions to being “wronged” and “mistreated,” when the transgression is as small as telling them “You can’t do that; that’s illegal.” The viewers of these meltdowns feel a bit better about themselves, knowing that wherever drama they endured was handled in a reasonable manner. They can say to themselves, “Wow, I was worried I was being too harsh during that argument with my parents, but at least I didn’t try to fucking poison them like Andrew ‘Poopsquatch’ Ditch!”

Other people find lolcows entertaining because more often than not, it’s funny to see when a dumb criminal gets arrested, like what frequently happens to chronic public drinker, Josh “WorldofTshirts” Block. And in cases like Earl “TheWhiteBowser” Dube, who felt up a minor and didn’t suffer any legal consequences, viewers will dogpile on them and dispense some keyboard vigilante justice. Everyone loves to see a villain get comeuppance in some say, and the lolcows that broke the law are certainly no different.

Where should we draw the line?

Lolcows have legions of trolls and video essayists after them at all times. Because the lolcows make minimal efforts to conceal their locations, it becomes very easy to keep tabs on them, especially the ones that have been in jail before. There are entire subreddits and Facebook groups whose sole purpose is to discuss and provide updates on the likes of Chris-Chan or Leslie Clark. The trolls in particular already have access to much of the personal information of these lolcows, and will manipulate and harass them by pretending to be secret admirers/love rivals or by just approaching them in public and threatening them.

In my opinion, it has already gone too far when you doxx someone and harass them in person. I’m not talking about getting the lolcow fired from their “interacts with kids” job. I’m talking about going up to them in public and punching them or throwing things at their houses. Despite several lolcows doxxing themselves unintentionally, that doesn’t change the fact that people will go to their homes and places of work to mess with them. Furthermore, it’s gone irretrievably far when innocent people related to the lolcows get tossed into the harassment. Someone thought it would be a good idea to send a clown to TheWhiteBowser’s mother’s house, since  he was living there at the time. The mother was naturally scared and confused at this random-ass clown on her porch.

People see the lengths that others go to when harassing the lolcows, then try to copy or escalate the efforts. When the reason for harassing someone is for the lulz or for clout, there’s no telling how far people are willing to go to reach their goal. It’s one thing to call out a pedophile, especially if he’s just hanging out in a place where minors tend to be. But it’s another thing to throw a brick through the pedophile’s grandmother’s window. What did that accomplish? The pedophile is still in your neighborhood, you’re now on the hook for property damage, and the grandma is left to wonder why people hate her.

Additionally, many lolcows like Daniel Larson, Chris-Chan, or Cyraxx have a flimsy grasp on reality and their tempers as-is. Anyone going to a lolcow’s house or workplace uninvited (or even just approaching them in public) with intent to harass might get beaten or shot. Whenever Lashay Hinton sees a negative comment on her TikTok Lives, or gets a fraudulent DoorDash order to her house, she gets violently angry. When Hinton gets angry, she screams at her phone for tens of minutes, threatening to kill whoever is calling her out. Instigating a mentally ill person who has a track record for violence into committing more acts of violence isn’t funny.

Also, remember that 38 US states have a “Castle Law” or “Stand Your Ground Law” in place. The fact that the lolcow could potentially not be imprisoned for shooting someone should be enough of a deterrent.

Lolcows will never not be interesting. Following their stories is like watching a plotline to Days of Our Lives, but with unkempt houses and pedophilia. While people should temper caution with how much they directly interact with a lolcow, as long as the lolcows are continuing to post about their own lives online, then people are well within their rights to watch the chaos unfold. I, personally, will continue to watch from a distance with popcorn in hand, wondering how a pedo creep who talks like Elmer Fudd thinks he’s as intelligent as Gregory House.